


I'm sorry

by Nikky_the_writer



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 17:27:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17005992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikky_the_writer/pseuds/Nikky_the_writer
Summary: Reader and Peter seeing each other after they break up, which ended their friendship.





	I'm sorry

While growing up, sometimes you forgot to cherish those who cares about you. You forgot to love them, to show them how much they mean to you. You stop looking at them as time passes by. Sometimes even can’t remember what kind of person they are.

You and Peter were such a great couple. Knowing each other for so long. You moved into the house next to his when you were three years old. You would always play at his house with him and his sister. You two started dating when you were sixteen. Your parents usually wouldn’t approve an older boy, but they knew Peter and he was nineteen so, they were fine with your relationship. Love between you and Peter was strong, but sometimes you felt neglected by him.

With slow and gentle movement your fingers were going through his hair. You didn’t want to disturb him because he was trying to study. You just missed him so much.

˝Can you take a break? ˝, you asked laying next to him on his soft bed.

˝No˝, he said not looking up from his book.

˝No? That’s wonderful Peter, it really is˝, you said sarcastically, quickly getting up

˝Where are we standing Peter? ˝

He groaned, not because he was tired of you, it was because he was tired of studying. He had just one more test and then he would be able to spent some time at home and with you. That’s why he took an earlier test for which he was studying right now.

˝ (Y/N) can we talk about it later? ˝, he asked looking up from the page.

˝Is that what you really want? ˝, you raised your voice.

˝Please, I have to study for this test and then… ˝

You interrupted him in the middle of his sentence. ˝If that is what you want? I could really do us both a favour not coming back. ˝, tears were falling down your cheeks while you were walking out of his room.

˝ (Y/N/N), (Y/N/N)! ˝, he was yelling your name, hurrying behind you.

˝Can we please talk? ˝, Peter said, catching you up in the living room.

˝Talk about what? There is too much to talk about. Honestly, I don’t care anymore. ˝, you yelled, moving away from him.

˝Look you are just angry right now, can we please stop yelling at each other? ˝

˝We can because I’m done talking˝, you tried to pass next to him. But he quickly at the same time gently grabbed your hand. You looked in his eyes like never before, the glow in them disappeared and the only thing that you could see was his tears falling from his eyes.

˝If you love me, you… ˝, he was stuttering, Barely finding his words. He wasn’t prepared for this, the whole semester, he was trying to think of something how he could make up for everything Every date that he canceled, every night when he wouldn’t stay untill morning. He was really trying, he tried to plan time to be with you. But if he really loved you he would make more time for you.

˝I do, but sometimes people let go of those who they love. It will be better for you when I leave. I already sent applications for college. ˝, with your fingertips you removed his tears. ˝I really don’t want to hurt you, but if I stay in this relationship I will be miserable. You never had time for me, always been busy with college. I can’t even remember when was the last time that you kissed me and I’m not thinking about just pack on the lips. I’m talking about something more emotional. I was giving everything to this relationship and you couldn’t even give me your time. That is really sad Peter. ˝

He let go of your hand, looking at the ground ˝Don’t leave. ˝, he whispered.

˝And for what should I stay? ˝, not getting an answer, you walked out shutting the door behind you. You couldn’t handle it anymore, all the emotions from the last fifteen years. So, you screamed just five steps from his door, but he didn’t come out. He was already crying, sitting with his head in his arms.

You were just eighteen and he was everything to you, it shouldn’t have ended like that.

˝Hey, you coming with us? ˝, Jean asked me.

˝Sorry I can’t, I have to study˝

˝That is the only thing that you are doing here for past three years. Who ruined you (Y/N/N)? ˝, she asked joking. Jean was your roommate. You were living together just a few streets away from your college. You didn’t want to go to the dorm, so you decided to find an apartment. That was a great idea, it was always quiet, sometimes there would be some noise when Scott would come, but then you would just go out.

˝You ready for tomorrow? ˝

Jean’s question left you puzzled, ˝For what? ˝

˝We are getting a new professor˝, she said enthusiastically.

˝And? ˝

˝Well… this will be his first year teaching here. ˝

˝Jean, honey, ˝, you said teasingly, ˝… that doesn’t sound great, it will probably be some old professor that other colleges don’t want anymore. ˝

˝Well, I heard something different˝, she said, and closed the door. Anybody else would die to know what she meant, but you didn’t care.After yours and Peters breakup, you have been like a ghost, just walking around, but not really grounding in anything. You haven’t heard from him since then. He called, he came to your house, but you weren’t there, you moved before you planned, putting as much space between you two, so that you could finally let go. Soon you realized that it is not true what people would usually say _˝Far from the eyes, far from the heart˝_

* * *

You haven’t slept the day before. You studied to 4am and you wake up at 7am for your class that was beginning at 8am. You came to the classroom with Jean, immediately putting your head on the table to get some sleep before the professor came. You fell asleep and when you walk up you could hear two voices talking it was Jean and… ˝Peter? ˝, you asked, still not seeing clearly.

˝Jean, you can go now? ˝, the male voice said.

˝Ohh, you’re in trouble (Y/N), maybe he punishes you. ˝, she giggled leaving.

˝What? ˝, you couldn’t believe that you actually overslept.

You heard steps coming closer to your table. You were too afraid of looking up because you didn’t want him to be there. You didn’t want to look at him again.

˝ (Y/N/N), can you look at me? ˝, he asked, standing in front of you.

You quietly took your things and start walking away

˝Don’t do this again˝, he begged.

You turned around, surprised by his looks. He came closer looking you in the eyes. You reached your hand to his hair only to say ˝So, you dyed your hair˝, you said bitterly, remembering the night when you left.

˝Can you give me the chance to explain? ˝

˝You don’t have to explain anything˝, you wanted to leave as fast as you could, you were afraid that you have started crying in front of him, when somebody could walk in, at any second.

˝I have to, there are still so many things that I wanted to do differently. I have made mistakes. ˝

˝You are my professor now so, it doesn’t really matters˝

˝It matters to me, I love you˝

You hysterically lough at that. ˝Love me? ˝, your voice was little higher than usual.

˝Stop it˝, you yelled ˝That are all just lies, you don’t love me˝, you were on the edge. ˝You dyed your hair˝, you squealed. The whole time he was trying to come closer to you, but you would always step back, keeping the distance. ˝I picked that color for you, you said it was cute and not this. I see that you have obviously grown up leaving your silver hair and leather jacket behind˝, you run away from the room slamming the door and glass on the door cracked bye your action, just like your heart, many years ago and now all the wounds were open.

* * *

You stepped into your apartment seeing Jean on the couch.

˝So, (Y/N), he is great, don’t you think so? ˝, she said walking to the kitchen.

˝Why didn’t you wake me up when he came˝, you sat on the chair in the kitchen, watching Jean cutting a cake piece for each of you.

˝Well, I wanted to, but he asked me why are you sleeping. I explained to him that you were studying and he said that you can sleep on just that class because it is just an introduction, but let’s stop talking about that and start talking about what happened after˝, she squealed, ˝What did he say?˝, she brought you a piece of chocolate cake and sat across from you.

˝Nothing˝

˝Nothing? It had to be something. ˝, Jean sounded disappointed.

˝No, it’s nothing, words that he had to say stayed unspoken. ˝, you whispered the last part of the sentence.

˝You seem mad at him. Do you know him? ˝

˝I wouldn’t say that, at least not any more˝, you whispered again.  
˝Will you stop talking just to yoursellf˝, she asked annoyed.

˝I said no. Leave me alone Jean˝, you were getting tired of her questions.

˝Ok, I don’t know what is going on with you, I never do. ˝, Jean finished her piece and put yours and hers plate and dishwasher.

˝It is not your problem to deal with it. You have doors so you can walk away. ˝, you got up.

˝Why would I do that I care about you? ˝, she said hugging you.

˝Why have I done that?˝, you whispered, remembering the look on his face when you were leaving.

* * *

You looked for him at the college, he wasn’t there. So, you called your mother to ask his mother about his address. Your mother called after ten minutes, giving you his address not sure why were you asking for it.

You were standing in front of his doors thinking what could you say to him. You knocked a few

times rather than ringing a bell because you were hoping that he won’t hear it. After a few minutes, he opened the door and he was surprised to see you.

You started talking: ˝Is it wrong to want you? ˝

He didn’t say anything. ˝Is it wrong, Peter, to still love you? ˝

˝It’s not, but it is bad for you, it will make you miserable. ˝ He said remembering your conversation before you left.

˝I didn’t know what was worst to have you or not. Now I know. ˝, you confessed, putting your heart on the sleeve.

˝Don’t you think that you are too late? I waited for years and nothing came from you, not even one call, nothing. ˝, he was angry, at least you thought so. He wasn’t angry at you he was just hurt, it was painful for him.  
˝I was trying to forget you, Pete. ˝

˝Well you did that, but I didn’t, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. It destroyed every relationship in which I was in after you. ˝

˝It did the same to me. Saying somebody else’s name after five months dating during… Nevermind.. I mean it was a deal breaker. ˝, he smiled slightly.

˝Do you want to come in? ˝

You came inside, but kept staying near the door.  
˝You alright? ˝, he asked, concern because you were looking at the ground holding your stomach.

˝No, not really˝, you came closer, ignoring everything that he was saying looking straight into his eyes, his spark found its way home. Were you the one for whom his eyes were sparkling? He still loves you. _You took away years_ _of not being_ _together, why would you take even more?_ You leaned in kissing him on the lips, kiss was so gentle as you two were made of glass, like any wrong move

could break you, so delicate, but he pulled away.

˝Why are you doing this now? ˝, it wasn’t like he didn’t want you back, he was just confused by the whole situation. How would it work now when you are in college and he is your professor if it wasn’t working before?

˝I don’t know, I want you. ˝

˝You want me, what am I? ˝, he was the first one to raise his voice.

˝Maybe a mistake˝, you moved away, leaving his place like that night was happening all over again. You walked out of his building, but it wasn’t all like before. This time it started to rain.

And you also heard somebody calling your name.  
He turned you around as you were standing letting the rain fall on you to wash you and everything that was wrong with you. You were standing in the rain getting soaked wet, just looking at him.

˝You still love me˝, he took your hand.

˝What? ˝

˝You said it ˝

˝Is it so hard to believe in that, I have never stopped loving you. ˝, you assured him.

˝But why would you then leave, twice? ˝

˝I wanted you to be happy, when I was leaving, one piece of me hoped that you will come after me that night. ˝, you said coming closer to him.  
˝If you love somebody you let them go, if they really love you they will come back. ˝, he said more to himself than to you.

˝But I didn’t let you go the next day I called, I was too weak to let you, but I do love you so much that it actually hurts. ˝, you were close face to face.

˝I don’t want to listen to that. Did you even said that you’re sorry for every time that you stood me up, for everything? ˝

˝I am˝, a tear fall down across his cheek. You didn’t want him to be sad and you didn’t want to be sad.

˝Kiss me˝, you said.

˝Are you sure, I want to, but I’m your pro… ˝, you didn’t let him finish, you kissed him. It felt better than the previous kiss. Like everything came to life again. Everything got its meaning back. Like you and him were meant for each other and with more effort you two will be just fine.


End file.
